Improvement - What's Wrong With That?

Absolutely nothing, of course. But all of a sudden, people are saying that it is "bigoted" to suggest that a group of people improve themselves. If this is the America in which we're living, this is an America that could stand some perfecting itself.
Specifically, we are referring to the comments made by a well-respected political pundit. Ann Coulter, long alone as a mouthpiece of Rightness and Justice, has explained that Christians "just want Jews to be perfected." This, for whatever reason, is drawing fire from some high-powered Jews. Frankly, The Grimary Gource feels that Miss Coulter was being far too charitable.
Some people are born privileged, some are not. This is just the facts. Those that fail to be born Christian probably are, in the Gource's estimation, unsalvageable. If science suggests otherwise, the Gource holds firm that these Jews are not worth saving.
Miss Coulter, somehow, has taken a far more charitable tack. She is suggesting, against all evidence, that Jews are reformable. This is patently absurd. The issue we should be taking with Miss Coulter's comments is not that she suggested that Jews are imperfect; it is suggesting that they have the potential to improve. Until such time as the Jews vote, en masse, for a candidate who does not endorse the things that matter most to them (money-grubbing, baby-boiling), we will remain in a world where the Jews can be ignored as a voting bloc (seriously, they're like 2%, tops, of the voting public).

Jews - What is Wrong With Them Already?

Recently, there has been an increase in the amount of Jewish-related activity, as there always is around the Holidays. In the past couple of years, they have been fighting to eliminate such pleasantries as, "Merry Christmas," and "God Bless Us - Every One," and "Hello." As evidenced by our public school system as it stands, their efforts have been largely successful, which means that we are losing the War On Religious Christians with Dogs Or Families.

As The Gource predicted a year ago, if we give in to the Jews' demands, they will be emboldened to try to eliminate further traces of our once proud culture. If the Jews get their way, a century from now all that will remain of American culture will be some VHS copies of Rob Reiner movies. This cannot happen.
Anyway, as usual, The Gource was correct. This year, the Jews are teaming up with the atheist Jews and the black Jews and trying to get eggnog banned in all public places. Eggnog, long a staple of Christian cuisine and Holiday good spirit, is also like arsenic to the Jews, and like old lace to the atheists. It is also, more importantly, completely delicious.
Their activity does not end here. They are also mandating that all public schools replace any interior lighting with menorahs, and serve latkes for lunch once a week. All courtrooms must fly the Israeli flag, and the rapper Ice-T must go only by his pseudonym "Iceberg."
We cannot allow them to do this. Jews already have their own private spaces (they're called "synagogues," people) - what gives them the right to infringe on our public places?
There is only one way to stop them. If we can separate neighborhoods in New York City (I like to call it “Jew York City” or “Hymietown”), Los Angeles, and Miami, and make these neighborhoods Jew-only, prohibiting Jews from leaving them, we retain public spaces for the American Christian tradition, something everyone can agree is good. Who’ll drink to that?

Jews - How Long Will You Let Your Noses Do the Talking?

Recently, Gufts Gillel was vandalized with spray-painted pictures of big-nosed Jews. The Campus Jewish Alliance responded by covering over the pictures with even bigger pictures of famous Jews. This took place during the Jewish celebration of Shabbat, an annual grain festival. The Gufts Genate voted to staunchly condemn the acts of the vandals, and swore to take stronger action should this event occur again. The Gufts Genate was dead wrong.
Usually, the Grimary Gource is not a supporter of bigotry or vandalism. In this case, though, the Jews deserved it. If they do not want to be accused of having big noses, it would well behoove them to keep their big noses out of our faces. It's like, hey Jew buddy, just because my nose won't reach yours is no reason for yours to meet mine halfway!
Honestly, it's like the Jews are just aching for acts of anti-Judaism (The Gource does not use the term "anti-Semitism" as it technically refers to all Semitic people. Know your facts.)! When they can just resign themselves to a life like everyone else's, we can peacefully coexist.
Predicted and to be proven.