The Death of Karl Rove - How Will We Cope Without Him?

Today marked the unfortunate passing of an era. At 8:45 this morning, after numerous aborted chess games, the Grim Reaper collected his due and carted off Karl Rove, along with his whole family in an apparent collection of some unholy debt. He was 3,000 years old.
Though, by contract, Rove had a solid four years left in his life, his time was cut short by a series of hunting accidents during which Rove was mistaken for a homosexual by hunting companions Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts and Roberts' handyman/pool cleaner Ronald. According to reports, the chess sets were wooden, and Death played the black pieces (Karl Rove reportedly refused to touch the black pieces, even as strategic moves within the game. This, as much as anything else, led to his loss of the game and his life).
Rove is survived by Condoleeza Rice and her simian army.