Iraq - Do They Even Know Who They Are?

You'd have to be an idiot to be able to go a week without hearing members of the hoi polloi whining about Blackwater. If you are like me, you ignore any reporting of current events not addressed in the Grimary Gource, which means you have no idea what Blackwater is and think it might be some anti-industrial pollution-themed propaganda. Wrong, but I like your attitude.
Blackwater is actually a private militaristic organization that we, The United States, placed in Iraq. As the Gource has mentioned before, the U.S. has foolishly built up its military from the unwashed and stupid, creating a force that is scrappy and mentally disabled, ensuring loss at any head-to-head matchup. In its infinite wisdom, our government has hired a group of trained mercenaries to police Iraq, which is swiftly and inexplicably becoming unstable. Needless to say, some liberal crybabies are complaining that the Soldiers of Fortune at Blackwater have been randomly firing into crowds of civilians, killing any non-white person they can see.
Recently, the "Prime Minister" of Iraq has asked the United States to pull Blackwater out of Iraq. The Gource is not interested in debating whether or not Iraqi civilians deserve to be fired on (yes) or whether Blackwater should stay or go (stay). Frankly, the Gource is more concerned by the stupidity apparently rampant in Iraq's leadership.
Few of our readers will be old enough to remember Saddam Hussein, so here's a quick primer: he was a Muslim fanatic who conspired with the Jews to blow up the World Trade Center and attack some of our most valuable fields. We went into Iraq to see if he had any nuclear weaponry, and found that not only did he have SO MANY nuclear weapons, but his own people also hated him. They were too weak to get rid of him, so we sneaked into his castle and shot him through the head.
Here is a message to the people of Iraq: Who the hell do you think you are to try to get a whole paramilitary organization out of your company? You couldn't even handle kicking out a mustachioed fat man. Get serious, Iraq. We'll kick Blackwater out ourselves once we've funded them enough that they take over the country and have policies we dislike.