Recently, the Grimary Gource was attending a screening of the film Ocean's Thirteen (the Gource has attended every movie that's preceded by a trailer for Die Hard Day's Night). While waiting for the telltale sounds of Beethoven's Ninth Symphony (and ninth-best, as far as the Gource is concerned), I was forced to sit through an ad for the U.S. military. Here are some screenshots:
"Like playing video games?"
"Unable to afford college?"
"Join the army, do stuff that's sort of like playing a video game..."
"...We'll pay for college."
"There's strong, then there's..."
This is, of course, appalling. This sort of mass-marketing is designed to appeal to the ignorant and the underfed. That is not the sort of person we need defending our borders from terrorist Mexicans. What we need is an army made up of brilliant young people who are also extremely strong and aerodynamic. Here I am thinking of an army of Jack Bauers.
Like many other like-minded and strong persons, the writers (and readers) of the Gource avoid contact with simpletons and the poor. The best way to attract the Gource type is to push away those who would be easily influenced by advertising. So, once again, the Grimary Gource has the solution: a mass advertising campaign designed to make the military look unappealing. Here is the premiere of the best possible recruiting poster:
Strength for now, a coffin for later.
"Like playing video games?"
"Unable to afford college?"
"Join the army, do stuff that's sort of like playing a video game..."
"...We'll pay for college."
"There's strong, then there's..."
This is, of course, appalling. This sort of mass-marketing is designed to appeal to the ignorant and the underfed. That is not the sort of person we need defending our borders from terrorist Mexicans. What we need is an army made up of brilliant young people who are also extremely strong and aerodynamic. Here I am thinking of an army of Jack Bauers.
Like many other like-minded and strong persons, the writers (and readers) of the Gource avoid contact with simpletons and the poor. The best way to attract the Gource type is to push away those who would be easily influenced by advertising. So, once again, the Grimary Gource has the solution: a mass advertising campaign designed to make the military look unappealing. Here is the premiere of the best possible recruiting poster:
Strength for now, a coffin for later.
4 comments:
This post illuminates essentially every reason that compelled me to found the Army of Reason.
genius!
If stories like this anger/ interest/ inspire you, then check out CAMMMO.org
Anderson
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