Friday, July 06, 2007

Music Revue: Miles Donovan - Aren't You Tired of Embarrassing Yourself?

Recently, we here at the Grimary Gource have begun receiving free CDs in the mail, perhaps from people making the assumption that we will positively review these albums and then album sales will finally beat out illegal downloads in the music-consumption race. It is important that we make it known here and now that we are not in the positive music review business, and frankly, the insinuation is fairly insulting. We are unhappy with the state of music today (frankly, everything following the cast recording of "Paint Your Wagon" has fallen flat on these Educated Ears).

That being the case, we were wholly unhappy to receive a new recording from Justice Truck Records, "conveys some feelings" by Miles Donovan.





















To quell interest in future Gource reviews, we here present our feelings on this album:
Mr. Donovan, for all his efforts, has manged to produce a solid three-quarters-hour of some of the most difficult listening material since this. It can be assumed that Mr. Donovan left the third grade for employment in a Dickensian workhouse, as his lyrics have the same nonlyrical quality of a taskmaster's commands and, perhaps, the cracking of a whip over some young guttersnipes' heads. Consider this verse from the track (one hesitates to use the word "song") "Corduroy (Oh Boy Oh Boy)"
Putting them on
Taking them off
I'm putting them all on
Like Rachmaninoff

If Mr. Rachaninoff were alive today, I suspect he would have abandoned the piano, for fear of inadvertently influencing the musical non-stylings of Mr. Donovan. As for Mr. Donovan's alacrity at the keyboard, it is matched only by his ignorance of keys, time signatures, and--one may argue--notes. One can only suspect that he has abandoned the traditional white and black keys in an effort to employ some gray keys, and became so distraught at the discovery that none such keys exist, he opted to create them from an unholy amalgamation of the keys we know, all within measures of cruel, inhumanly punishing length.
Should Mr. Donovan choose to extend his career as a perpetrator of keyboard-related crime and various acts of musical vandalism, one must only suggest that he go the direction of similar types and stay beneath our radar, never to pop up in works of culture ever again.

Our grade: Latino

1 comment:

Unknown said...

Oh man, I can't wait to get my hands on Miles Donovan - Conveys Some Feelings. It just seems so full of melancholy, honesty, and cacophony. Well, based on the picture! :)