Air Travel - Why Can't People Do It Better?

Recently, this reporter was put in the uncomfortable position of being on an airplane for about twenty nonconsecutive hours. It was a necessary method for transporting myself to one of America's several follies, though in the future one would do better to take a train, or stay only within the areas of our Nation where white people have succeeded in eliminating all previously extant cultures.
During this time I was unfortunately forced to witness the breaking of many unwritten rules of air travel. As part of a long-term dedication the Gource has to enlightening the masses (and widening the A of R), we present here the Grimary Gource's Now Written (Actually, Typed) Rules of Air Travel. We recommend these rules be made mandatory by all major airlines, with United Nations penalties doled out to noncompliant airlines.

1. The space behind your seat does not belong to you. You are in a seat, and everyone around you is in a seat. All these seats are the same size (unless you are a coach class flier, in which case the Gource suggests you return to trolling for vampire porn, and wonders how you arrived at this site). You do not have any rights to airspace surrounding your seat, because that space is occupied. Two objects cannot occupy the same space at the same time. Do not lean your seat back. Just being able to do so does not give you the right to do this. If you need to recline to sleep, try not traveling, or possibly booking the whole flight. Stop leaning your seat back and bumping into the knees of people of superior size.
2. Movies shown should all be airplane-related disaster movies, in order to alert travelers to the possibilities of trouble. Snakes on a Plane, Airplane, and Blimp are all acceptable. Wild Hogs, however, is not. Not only does it include miscegenational casting, but it also glorifies motorcycle culture, a culture born of LSD and brake fluid.
3. Eliminate security checkpoints. They take too long to get through, and mingle first- and business-class passengers with coach. Why should we be forced to wait in line with terrorists and garment retailers? If the War on Terror were working, we wouldn't run the risk of terrorism on planes, because all Arabs, Muslims, South Asians, North Africans, biracial, and Hindu people would be outside of our country (possibly in Mexico). Just step up the deportation and let me get on my airplane.
4. Do not bring a baby on an airplane. Put it to sleep, and then make a new one (or not--please) upon return home.

With these tips, the Grimary Gource hopes that air travel will become more convenient for those of us worth it, and less convenient for those who shouldn't be flying anyway. Enough is enough. Unless the situation improves, expect Amtrak to be crowded with members of the A of R, and our money is worth plenty.