Once, when I was a youth, I had chicken pox. I was out of school for some time, and missed a great deal of my first-grade education. When I returned, Gax Gravitz, a plucky boy who has since grown up to develop military-themed video games and other wastes of time (why not just join the military and get paid to shoot at things?) was far ahead of me in his schoolwork; I wouldn't catch up to him until the summer between first- and second-grade, when he taught me what negative numbers were (along with parallel parking, this proved to be information that I would never find useful outside of the educational sphere).
The lesson I learned from this experience was that illness is a fairly disastrous thing to experience; I was never sick again. My body also learned to fight off sickness: I spent a great deal of time around people with chicken pox in the years that followed, 
but my immune system refused to accept any germs (just as The Gource refuses to accept the germ theory).
We should demand the same from all Americans. When I read recently that there was an international panic related to the travels of a man infected with tuberculosis, I could only shake my head in shame. First of all, this man should not have tuberculosis. It is a disgusting, vile dis
ease that infects only the morally questionable and discarded weak.
That notwithstanding, now we have a man who has a disease, and there's nothing that we can really do about that. My initial question was: why are people with diseases allowed to travel? Why do they hold jobs alongside upstanding, TB-free citizens? How did the HIV containment policies of the 80's go awry? The Gource was ready to recommend a series of privately-funded "hospitals," which would operate more like prisons in the sense that nobody would be allowed to leave or come in contact with the outside world.
This thought only lasted for a moment. With the way illegal immigrants are claiming every available unoccupied spot of land for their own welfare receiving needs, we really do not have the space to build these "hospitals." Furthermore, why would Americans want people with diseases (The Gource calls them "sickfaces") in our country at all?
So The Gource is, as always, ready to help out and offer a clean and easy solution. First, our national tourism boards should start heavily advertising foreign travel for sickfaces ("Other Countries Have Free Health Care for Tourists!" [actually, Michael Moore's upcoming travesty should serve this purpose nicely]). Once all the sick people have left the country, we close our borders completely. This will keep out sickfaces, illegal immigrants, and sick illegal immigrants (by far, the lowest type of person that exists on earth). In short, America will once again be the strong, proud, Healthy nation our forefathers created.
but my immune system refused to accept any germs (just as The Gource refuses to accept the germ theory).We should demand the same from all Americans. When I read recently that there was an international panic related to the travels of a man infected with tuberculosis, I could only shake my head in shame. First of all, this man should not have tuberculosis. It is a disgusting, vile dis
ease that infects only the morally questionable and discarded weak.That notwithstanding, now we have a man who has a disease, and there's nothing that we can really do about that. My initial question was: why are people with diseases allowed to travel? Why do they hold jobs alongside upstanding, TB-free citizens? How did the HIV containment policies of the 80's go awry? The Gource was ready to recommend a series of privately-funded "hospitals," which would operate more like prisons in the sense that nobody would be allowed to leave or come in contact with the outside world.
This thought only lasted for a moment. With the way illegal immigrants are claiming every available unoccupied spot of land for their own welfare receiving needs, we really do not have the space to build these "hospitals." Furthermore, why would Americans want people with diseases (The Gource calls them "sickfaces") in our country at all?
So The Gource is, as always, ready to help out and offer a clean and easy solution. First, our national tourism boards should start heavily advertising foreign travel for sickfaces ("Other Countries Have Free Health Care for Tourists!" [actually, Michael Moore's upcoming travesty should serve this purpose nicely]). Once all the sick people have left the country, we close our borders completely. This will keep out sickfaces, illegal immigrants, and sick illegal immigrants (by far, the lowest type of person that exists on earth). In short, America will once again be the strong, proud, Healthy nation our forefathers created.
3 comments:
Ah, the consumption. I heard that only the unemployed and morally questionable got that disease. Do you know if this is true?
It was actually a status symbol among artists and opera-types until the great Music Purges of the early 20th century in Europe, where all those infected with consumption or involved in the performing "arts" were summarily executed and their possessions distributed among the more deserving, less homosexual, citizens.
These changing times call for new measures. This fine country needs to adopt a reverse-domino policy on disease. The debilitating contagions will infect our enemies one by one.
Not one domino shall stand.
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