Muslim Congressmen-Elect - Why Can't They Keep Their Heads Down (Facing West)?

In a recent hellection, the state of Minnesota, one known for bad decisions (not to mention accents) stumblefucked a Muslim into our American House of White Representatives. This is not necessarily a bad idea, as his hellection may prove to Islamicysts around the world that the American system is the best and probably a good idea for their lives, too. The way that this Congressman screwed up is by requesting that he be allowed to be sworn in on the Kqworan, the "holy" book of Islam.

Let me be the first to ask: is this guy kidding me? We do not live in Saudi Arabia or something. We live in the United States of America, a nation where people swear on The Bible and almost always worship Jesus Christ:

As soon as we allow people to choose to swear in on the book of their choice, we open the floodgates to eliminate "Under God" from the Pledge of Allegiance, and then we will be removing crucifices from courtrooms and classrooms, and then we will no longer require us to sign pledges asserting that we are not witches. I would rather be crushed by stones than see a day like this come.
Luckily, there is one brave man who is unafraid to confront the issue. Rather than link you anywhere else, I will do The Gource an honor by printing his words. Here is a letter written by Virginia's 5th District Rep. Virgil Goode to CNN, printed on CNN.com (I bolded the best parts for you):

"When I raise my hand to take the oath on Swearing In Day, I will have the Bible in my other hand. I do not subscribe to using the Quran in any way.

"The Muslim representative from Minnesota was elected by the voters of that district and if American citizens don't wake up and adopt the Virgil Goode position on immigration there will likely be many more Muslims elected to office and demanding the use of the Quran.

"We need to stop illegal immigration totally and reduce legal immigration and end the diversity visas policy pushed hard by President Clinton and allowing many persons from the Middle East to come to this country.

"I fear that in the next century we will have many more Muslims in the United States if we do not adopt the strict immigration policies that I believe are necessary to preserve the values and beliefs traditional to the United States of America and to prevent our resources from being swamped..."

Virgil Goode, you officially win the Gource Grouser of the Year Award. This is awarded semi-regularly to the person or persons who have recently made the most sense in missives sent to CNN. In true TIME Magazine fashion, The Gource encourages you to work hard to be the next winner.