Recently, there has been an increase in the amount of Jewish-related activity, as there always is around the Holidays. In the past couple of years, they have been fighting to eliminate such pleasantries as, "Merry Christmas," and "God Bless Us - Every One," and "Hello." As evidenced by our public school system as it stands, their efforts have been largely successful, which means that we are losing the War On Religious Christians with Dogs Or Families.
As The Gource predicted a year ago, if we give in to the Jews' demands, they will be emboldened to try to eliminate further traces of our once proud culture. If the Jews get their way, a century from now all that will remain of American culture will be some VHS copies of Rob Reiner movies. This cannot happen.
Anyway, as usual, The Gource was correct. This year, the Jews are teaming up with the atheist Jews and the black Jews and trying to get eggnog banned in all public places. Eggnog, long a staple of Christian cuisine and Holiday good spirit, is also like arsenic to the Jews, and like old lace to the atheists. It is also, more importantly, completely delicious.
Their activity does not end here. They are also mandating that all public schools replace any interior lighting with menorahs, and serve latkes for lunch once a week. All courtrooms must fly the Israeli flag, and the rapper Ice-T must go only by his pseudonym "Iceberg."
We cannot allow them to do this. Jews already have their own private spaces (they're called "synagogues," people) - what gives them the right to infringe on our public places?
There is only one way to stop them. If we can separate neighborhoods in New York City (I like to call it “Jew York City” or “Hymietown”), Los Angeles, and Miami, and make these neighborhoods Jew-only, prohibiting Jews from leaving them, we retain public spaces for the American Christian tradition, something everyone can agree is good. Who’ll drink to that?
Anyway, as usual, The Gource was correct. This year, the Jews are teaming up with the atheist Jews and the black Jews and trying to get eggnog banned in all public places. Eggnog, long a staple of Christian cuisine and Holiday good spirit, is also like arsenic to the Jews, and like old lace to the atheists. It is also, more importantly, completely delicious.
Their activity does not end here. They are also mandating that all public schools replace any interior lighting with menorahs, and serve latkes for lunch once a week. All courtrooms must fly the Israeli flag, and the rapper Ice-T must go only by his pseudonym "Iceberg."
We cannot allow them to do this. Jews already have their own private spaces (they're called "synagogues," people) - what gives them the right to infringe on our public places?
There is only one way to stop them. If we can separate neighborhoods in New York City (I like to call it “Jew York City” or “Hymietown”), Los Angeles, and Miami, and make these neighborhoods Jew-only, prohibiting Jews from leaving them, we retain public spaces for the American Christian tradition, something everyone can agree is good. Who’ll drink to that?
3 comments:
Man, I hate fucking eggnog. That has stopped me from ever trying it.
I'll get you Christmas! And your little friend Easter is next!
You are more right than you even know. I tricked a "friend" into eating eggnog suspecting he was a witch, DEAD. He's DEAD. I don't know if that means he's Jewish or a witch.
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