Women Educators - How Are We Going to Swing That?

Recently, the United States' oldest institution of Smarter Learning, Harvard University, announced that its next President will be a woman. Call the Gource conservative if you will, but we find ourselves looking to recent history for the future of this school.
It is not difficult to recall the prophetic words of Harvard's previous president, who noted that, according to his exhaustive research, women are far less able than men to do simple arithmetic or any sort of chemistry beyond cooking. He suggested that further research could prove that the reason for this inability came directly from the Missing Portion of women's brains, known colloquially as the Math Cortex. Since he made this statement, a lab at M.I.T. managed to prove that not only was he completely correct, but he may have been eerily accurate in his predictions. The Gource is certain that this is the case.
No one would ever put forth the notion that women are inherently unable to write, or examine history, or knit. The only areas in which they have no level of sexpertise are the Maths and the Sciences. This will not be a hindrance to a woman's career (unless she still imagines herself a biologist), but it will destroy Harvard University, long a bastion of Intelligence and Reason.
This new president of Harvard will certainly bring Harvard's scientific and mathematic community down. Her natural inclination to staring out a window and writing poetry will make Harvard the new Oberlin. No longer will Harvard be a place from which students can have been proud to graduate: a Harvard degree will mean less than a degree from the DeVry Institute of Ice Cream Making. If this trend keeps up, the Grimary Gource may be the only thing holding up the mantle of Proper Education for the Elite. Stay with us: We will never be run by women.