In a recent article in the Gource, this writer suggested that the world is divided into two main castes: people who are smart and soon to be in charge, and the people who can't spell "gingham." Despite my numerous and broad examples, I was swamped with e-mails and text messages begging me how one could identify and classify members of these two castes. I thought for nearly five minutes about this before coming up with what I know to be a solid solution.
For centuries, there have been men who walk among us and possess a troubling power over most of us. They are called hypnotists. With mere watches or shiny objects, they can make people think something is not true, even if that thing is true. There is known to be no escape from their guiles, right?
No, stupid. Smart people cannot be hypnotized. As a member of this planet's intelligensia, I can say with complete authority that there is nothing on earth that can make me change my mind about an issue, or misunderstand important facts. I am steadfast.
So I encourage one and all to attend any hypnotism shows they can find. See if you can pass the acid test of intelligence. If so, welcome back. If not, don't feel bad. Take heart in knowing that your role as cannon fodder is completely assured.
For centuries, there have been men who walk among us and possess a troubling power over most of us. They are called hypnotists. With mere watches or shiny objects, they can make people think something is not true, even if that thing is true. There is known to be no escape from their guiles, right?
No, stupid. Smart people cannot be hypnotized. As a member of this planet's intelligensia, I can say with complete authority that there is nothing on earth that can make me change my mind about an issue, or misunderstand important facts. I am steadfast.
So I encourage one and all to attend any hypnotism shows they can find. See if you can pass the acid test of intelligence. If so, welcome back. If not, don't feel bad. Take heart in knowing that your role as cannon fodder is completely assured.
3 comments:
As can be seen in such classic films as Francis Ford Coppola's Dracula, the ONLY person who can legitamately hypnotize anyone is a vampire. You are making the test for intelligence very difficult for some of us in your readership because I have NO intention of confronting one of the creatures of the night. We might as well call you a SOMNAMBULIST for you are asleep to the truth.
Intelligensia?
Note: I mention this error, which I am sure is only a typo, only because I care deeply about the legitimacy of the Grimary Gource and would weep if some critic should come assualting such upstanding literature as this on the basis of one typo.
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